I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize