i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
