watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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