so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
