its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I cannot find my penis.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
