Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
