I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize