Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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