He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
