not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
