so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
