Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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