Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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