Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
