there's paper in my vomit.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
