hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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