Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
