please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
