This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
