When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
