Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Your cock deserves a montage
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
