Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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