i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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