girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
