he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize