well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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