I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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