as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
