dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We just shotgunned beers for America
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
