We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
there is glitter all over my balls
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
