Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
