dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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