Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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