Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
