either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
