So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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