Where is the hickey?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
