Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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