Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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