She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
