She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
