Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize