he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
