Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
