I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
