I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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