Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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