I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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