i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Boobs speak an international language.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
