OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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