I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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