Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
