Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
