your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
