his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
