That's when you crack a 10am beer
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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