Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
