You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
