You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
