i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
