yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
