addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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