singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
