We're like a lot better than the average bears
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
