I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
