chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
you never un-have a 4some
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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