She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
