girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
In other news, I just burned my penis
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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